autopsy of a typical day in my life as a teacher...

I am not sure if anyone even reads my blog....... I have one very ardent follower.... so at least I know it will be read by one ! I know that the teaching profession is one which is under much public scrutiny ( what with the cushy summer months when school is not in session ) so I was thinking today that it might be prudent for me to post a typical day . My job is not harder or easier than any other job. I have had other jobs. I have had other important jobs. I think that the main difference is that in this job I am responsible for your babies. I am trusted with the care and education of your beloved children for 80% of their awake time. That makes it more important to me .... !!! So here is day 1.. Sept 1, 2009.



6:30 am - alarm goes off - get up and take the dog out to pee and poo and lap the block.

6:45 am - wake up daughter and make sure first day of school clothes are appropriate.

7:00 am - coffee is ready ( thank god ) make sure gated area that will prevent the dog from shitting on the carpet is secure .

7:05 am make sure the gecko light is on, the cats have food and water for the day and give the dog something to chew on for the next 15 minutes so that I can apply post shower moisturizer and it doesn't all get licked off

7:15 am - coach daughter through all of the what ifs of her first day in grade 5. Tell her that everything will be OK and even if it isn't it will be.

7:30 am - husband is leaving for school .... wish that I could be him .

7:45 am - even after I said I did not have time , I make the time to straighten my daughter's hair because it is after all the first day of school and I want her to be happy ( especially since I have already called the school and I know she is getting the teacher she is most afraid of this year .... so she might as well have good hair )

8:00 am - start freaking out cause the bell goes at 8:40 and I teach in Rockwood which is a 15 minute drive through the country as long as I do not run into a bloody school bus.

8:05 am - throw all my shit into the car and bolt out of the driveway .... but not before taking the obligatory first day pic of daughter standing by the front door on her first day of school .

8:15 am - mentally go through my first day activities and hope that everything is photocopied and ready to go . Regret that I did not bring a coffee with me but hope that someone on staff will have made some.

8:27 - start to figuratively shit my pants because in 2 minutes I am supposed to be on the yard smiling and holding a big "Mrs.Walker" sign so that parents and students know who the hell I am. But I am still a good 4 minutes from the school and their is some kind of farm equipment in front of me that appears to be driven by a 12 year old ( why isn't he in school ?)

8:30 am - scream into the parking lot , bolt from car carrying a cage of mice, and my book bag and my lunch and rush into my room. Turn the lights on and grab the dreaded sign and head out onto the yard.

8:35 am -get rushed by 4 of my former students who are so happy to be in my homeroom. Dispatch these students to round up the rest of the class.

8:36 am - one of the former students is now crying due to the fact that she got stung by a bee. Hug her ( even though touching is forbidden) and tell her that she is going to be OK and send her with a friend to get some ice.

8:40 am period one- Herd 26 students into my room and begin the process of beginning the school year with one of my 3 classes. Introduce them to the classroom, hand out 25 things they need to take home from the office, have them create a reflection journal ( colour coded depending on which class they are in) and a personal profile, assign lockers and record all combinations to said lockers. Then have them write down 2 things that they think no one knows about them and crumple the paper up into a ball ....... then have a big paper ball snowball fight. When I say stop they pick up the nearest ball , uncrumple it and try to figure out who the person is. Get a little scared when one kid writes that he likes to shoot small animals with his dad. The kids who guess right get a giant blow pop .... this is a big hit !

8:50 am - Bee sting girl is still crying.... she does not want to be in the class she is in and she is freaking out. Receive a text from my daughter that none of her friends are in her class and she is afraid of her teacher .... her worst fear has been realized. Try to put this out of my head.

8:55 am - experience a lot of stress......

9:00 am - try to figure out why my class list in no way resembles the actual children who are sitting in front of me.... call the office only to find out that there were some last minute changes.

9: 02 am - pray that a coffee fairy will fly through the window and make my dream come true

9:10 am - 2 more girls are in tears... not sure whether they are happy or sad but hug them and tell them that life is tough but that it will all work out.

9:12 am - seriously where the hell is the coffee fairy. Have the kids write down one thing they think that they cannot do ..... do not look at their papers. Put the papers in a box and tape it up and suspend it from the ceiling. When we have all conquered what we wrote down we will have a party ..... another big hit.

9:15 am - attempt to begin first day activities...... then the Principal calls to say that there is going to be some changes to the class list. The kids start to mumble and look nervous.

9:20 am - period 2 still waiting on about 7 kids .... the bus did not show up to pick them up ( on the first day of school ?)

9:30 am - start to review beginning of year stuff .... hand outs..... class schedule.....etc

9:40 am - student A approaches me to tell me that over the summer her parents decided to separate ... she is crying ..... devastated . I instruct the rest of the class to review the handouts as student A and I step outside to chat . Again there are a few illicit hugs.

10:00 am period 3 - hear from the Principal that several parents have already called the school. They were there in the morning and they saw the class lists and they want their children moved for a variety of reasons. As the principal scrambles to accommodate them we try to go about our day.

10:20am - notice a huge blister forming on each baby toe - stupid footwear choice . Fleetingly wonder if the dog has shit on the carpet yet on his second day uncrated!

10:40 am - first nutrition break ...... the kids get to eat and they are happy for that. Run around for the break trying to figure out what kids are getting switched to which classes. Call my daughter's school to make sure she is OK and see if it is possible to get her into a class with at least one of her friends ..... be very polite and apologetic and do not pull the teacher card . Munch on some hommos and cucumber while photocopying new class lists because by now many parents have called and many kids have been switched to a new class. Check my messages and return 3 calls to parents who want interviews.

11:25 am - period 4 - Instruct my students to record their first entry in their reflective journals..... they are to reflect on the upcoming year and the fact that they are now less than 365 days away from their first day of high school. Field questions about what I would like them to use to write with, do I want it double spaced, does it need to be very long, do they need a title, and will this be graded ........ all these questions despite the lime green instruction sheet which is at the beginning of their journal.

12:05 pm period 5 - head outside for an ultimate Frisbee tournament with the kids......no one knows what is going on but we figure it out and get them going. funny how 13 year old kids don't like to really move around all that much. Cajole and coax them into playing a sport ....... try to convince them it is fun and much better than being inside on such a nice day !

12:30 pm - the kids are all rebelling and do want to run and catch a Frisbee anymore ... they are beginning to chase each other and head into the forest to pick up large logs of wood . Head over and tell them that it is a bad idea and they need to put the logs back where they found them. Pretend I did not hear the f word cause I really don't want to deal with it right now! Remind them that they have to have fun outside until 1:05 at which point they can return to the stale air inside the school.

1:05 - mercifully the bell rings and I can herd my class back inside to eat again .... nutrition break number two. Return 2 phone calls, take a few sips of water, check my teacher email, remind the VP that there is a scheduling problem and there is another teacher scheduled to teach in my room while I am in there teaching, help a child figure out how to work his combination lock, pick up my fancy florescent vest for yard duty, learn how to work the fancy new walkie talkie for yard duty and receive my personalized washroom passes for yard duty. Stroll through the room where my kids are eating their lunch and answer yes when one of my students asks if we can start a grade 8 rock band.

1:25 - head outside armed and ready to man area D with a firm hand. Realize that 3 bathroom passes are not enough. Field many reports of pushing, and ball stealing. Tell the group of 5 or 6 grade 3 kids that they cannot run up and slap the butts of the grade 8 girls . Pray for the bell ..... and there it is :)

1:50 - period 6 - a new group of kids........ go through the same thing with them as I did with the morning group

2:30 - period 7 - another new group of kids.......... go through the same thing with them as I did with the morning group.

3:10 - the bell rings. whew !

3:30 pm - staff meeting ..... lots of administrative stuff .

4:00 pm - intermediate division meeting - way way way too much decision making and planning for day one !

4:45 pm - back to my classroom to clean up . Feed and water mice before I leave.

5:00 pm - into the car and I call my daughter on the way home ..... she loved her first day of school etc ...... feel my shoulders begin to disengage themselves from my ears.

5:20 pm - pull into my driveway and head to greet husband, child, and dog. Mother-in-law has made dinner thank goodness. I eat my dinner and then get to work making changes to day plans based on what we accomplished today. Begin creation of a new unit plan. Make lunches and check email .

10:00 pm begin to slow down and get ready to try to sleep .....thankful for many things !!!