I have ( on occasion ) been known to do two things on which many books have been written : sweat the small stuff and over analyze. This story highlights both of these tendencies. It also illustrates how my daughter tries her best to help me overcome both of these pitfalls .
Tonight I was teaching my night school students and was describing their personal essay assignment. We were talking about how one event in our lives can change the way we think about something . One single event can make a big difference . Of course I had to give them several examples so they understood what I meant . One of the memories I chose to share was how my daughter, at a very young age, learned to combat my penchant for sweating the small stuff .
Being that my husband is from the West Indies, and I am a very pale red head, Emma is a nice blend of the both of us . When she was little, and I was deciding on her toys ,I was very conscious to make sure that a variety of ethnic groups were represented. Dolls of all skin tone were purchased . We never really talked about it . It was just the norm . The Chinese groovy girl hung out with the Black Bratz Girl and they all partied with Dora and her Latin American backpack !
It was the Loving Family Doll House that brought an end to all this harmony. The Loving Family Dollhouse pictured above comes complete with the White Loving Family .You can imagine how much I obsessed over this . This family that my daughter would be role playing with was not a good representation of our family . Would she wonder why our family looked different than the plastic replicas in front of her ? Well when I found the Black Loving Family , I thought I was so smart . So wise. A veritable guru of child psychology . I would beat Fisher Price at their own game . I bought both families and increased the mouths to feed in the Loving Family Doll House . White family had already been living in the dollhouse for about a month . They had apparently developed a routine. Who was I to know that they were quite happy with the arrangement and did not want to have another family moving in with them thank you very much . Yup my daughter was thumbs down on the other family moving in because we all know that two families can't live in the dollhouse at the same time !
I was too smart for her though . One day while she wasn't looking ,I slipped black daddy into the family room and put black baby down for a nap in the nursery. She said nothing . She did not even hint that she noticed. I was brilliant ! Mission accomplished . Now all I had to do was slip white daddy out the back door and pretend that white baby had been eaten by the cat ,and I was home free . No dice . She seemed to be playing with all of them . Why wasn't she asking me about it ? Would I mess her up by taking some of them away . Turns out Emma was watching me ..... sizing me up . Waiting .
I started to notice that black daddy did not seem to be having as much fun as white daddy in the Good Old Loving Family dollhouse. While white mommy and daddy were enjoying a movie in the living room, black daddy was on the lawn , face down , apparently taking a nap. Then one day I was cleaning and noticed one of the pillows on the sofa was lumpy. Turns out black daddy was stuffed inside the pillow cover. That seemed odd . A few days later I found white baby inside a toilet paper roll that was taped over with masking tape at either end. Hmmmm... could this just be coincidence ?
What the hell was my daughter playing at ? About a week after I had put black daddy back in the living room , he turned up stuffed into one of the heating vents in the floor . The top of his head had been stuck to the sticky part of a glue stick. White baby was never seen or heard from again . I am sure I will find him at some point .... all these years later.
Emma did not want me to mess with the house . She decided that what worked for the Loving Family Doll House was not what I had tried to force on her . She taught me that sweating the small stuff was just that . Did it really matter who was living in the house ? It was a family , her play family . I had taken my notion of normal and pushed it on her . Lesson Learned .
Being that my husband is from the West Indies, and I am a very pale red head, Emma is a nice blend of the both of us . When she was little, and I was deciding on her toys ,I was very conscious to make sure that a variety of ethnic groups were represented. Dolls of all skin tone were purchased . We never really talked about it . It was just the norm . The Chinese groovy girl hung out with the Black Bratz Girl and they all partied with Dora and her Latin American backpack !
It was the Loving Family Doll House that brought an end to all this harmony. The Loving Family Dollhouse pictured above comes complete with the White Loving Family .You can imagine how much I obsessed over this . This family that my daughter would be role playing with was not a good representation of our family . Would she wonder why our family looked different than the plastic replicas in front of her ? Well when I found the Black Loving Family , I thought I was so smart . So wise. A veritable guru of child psychology . I would beat Fisher Price at their own game . I bought both families and increased the mouths to feed in the Loving Family Doll House . White family had already been living in the dollhouse for about a month . They had apparently developed a routine. Who was I to know that they were quite happy with the arrangement and did not want to have another family moving in with them thank you very much . Yup my daughter was thumbs down on the other family moving in because we all know that two families can't live in the dollhouse at the same time !
I was too smart for her though . One day while she wasn't looking ,I slipped black daddy into the family room and put black baby down for a nap in the nursery. She said nothing . She did not even hint that she noticed. I was brilliant ! Mission accomplished . Now all I had to do was slip white daddy out the back door and pretend that white baby had been eaten by the cat ,and I was home free . No dice . She seemed to be playing with all of them . Why wasn't she asking me about it ? Would I mess her up by taking some of them away . Turns out Emma was watching me ..... sizing me up . Waiting .
I started to notice that black daddy did not seem to be having as much fun as white daddy in the Good Old Loving Family dollhouse. While white mommy and daddy were enjoying a movie in the living room, black daddy was on the lawn , face down , apparently taking a nap. Then one day I was cleaning and noticed one of the pillows on the sofa was lumpy. Turns out black daddy was stuffed inside the pillow cover. That seemed odd . A few days later I found white baby inside a toilet paper roll that was taped over with masking tape at either end. Hmmmm... could this just be coincidence ?
What the hell was my daughter playing at ? About a week after I had put black daddy back in the living room , he turned up stuffed into one of the heating vents in the floor . The top of his head had been stuck to the sticky part of a glue stick. White baby was never seen or heard from again . I am sure I will find him at some point .... all these years later.
Emma did not want me to mess with the house . She decided that what worked for the Loving Family Doll House was not what I had tried to force on her . She taught me that sweating the small stuff was just that . Did it really matter who was living in the house ? It was a family , her play family . I had taken my notion of normal and pushed it on her . Lesson Learned .
3 comments:
sounds like you have a bright girl! lucky you. lucky her. enjoyed reading lit girl again.
Hilarious....I have been having a similar issue, as doll house people are not a great representation of our family either. I've also tried to avoid the games where you match the baby to its mother...again, a bit of an overanalysis that my daughter likely does not even have an issue with...In fact, she thinks we look the same.
Emma's too crafty for you, Heather! Don't worry about worrying so much either. You're such a good mama!
Considering the sweetness of that dollhouse, I'm sure she was perfectly happy to play with any dolls!
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