SSHHHH..... I am vignetting !

If you know me, or have been to my house or any one of the many places I have called home over the years...... then you no doubt have never seen my home look the same way twice. I have an obsession with vignetting. "My name is Heather Walker and I enjoy moving large, medium and small objects around my home to create small aesthetically pleasing, yet random scenes. " There - it is out there. When I am in the zone I cannot be interrupted or I become extremely cranky. Don't stand still too long when the process is in full swing ( especially if you are wearing something that I deem vignette-worthy) or you risk becoming part of the decor. Yup .... I will prop you up against the wall.....arms akimbo....jaunty expression on your face right beside the sea grass baskets and a carefully manicured stack of books ( jackets removed of course ).

I have noticed over the years that this obsession of mine has an interesting effect on friends and family. When people enter our home we do not hear the usual foyer small talk. Right away the space is sized up and then we hear either " Things look like they did yesterday - is Heather away?" or " Oh you changed things ..... again " or even better " oh you moved the couch .... interesting " .... and once even ..... " Do you really find that to be a convenient place for your microwave ?" It comes with the territory. It rolls off my back. It does not for one New York minute make me consider the alternative .. LEAVING EVERYTHING THE SAME .

The hilarity of the thing is the domino effect that one small addition can have to an entire room. I can come home with a small bauble and suddenly the room needs to be re-worked to accommodate it. Seriously . And I am particular about how many objects can be grouped together - always an odd number . It is like a filing system that no one except me can figure out ! My own little code . I get such tremendous pleasure from the whole thing that it should be illegal ! And I am about to admit to something.

One of my favourite things to do when I am done re-arranging and re-working and eyeballing over and over and over is to leave for a bit . I actually leave . Walk out the door of my home and stall a little bit outside . Then I pretend that I am coming in for the first time and I open the door slowly. You see I need the full effect. It does not matter if an upstairs bedroom has been the most recent victim of my serial vignetting.....I have to walk in and make my way up to the bedroom in anticipation. Man it is such thrill.

My husband makes jokes about it, my friends tolerate it , the rest of my family finds it odd yet amusing. One of my friend's husbands jokes that he has a secret desire to cruelly toy with me by sneaking in one day and making the tiniest changes to my beloved little groupings . Perhaps he would take the small blue speckled egg off the mantle in the Zen room and put it on top of the glass shelf in the living room , or maybe move the little vampire key chain that my daughter got at a birthday party (but now hangs like a tassel on the drawer of the dresser that serves as our liquor cabinet) to some obscure place......like on a set of keys ! I would know . Got that Mike .... I would know .

And then there is the issue of being around me when I am in my "vignetting trance." I cannot be spoken to or relied upon to do anything else at the time. In fact, this may be the only time in my life when my brain is fully engaged in one thing. And for God's sake do not even think about sitting down anywhere or moving anything. It is best to quietly back away and come back when it is over . I need to fully concentrate while each object lets me know where it wants to spend the next 72 hours..... give or take.