What the hell is is up with skinny jeans ? I mean SERIOUSLY .
( note the absence of the exclamation mark as I am trying to control myself .... but the caps do indicate a raise in voice pitch) OK ... so at the threat of being misunderstood - what I mean to say is "what the hell is up with the term skinny jeans ?" No I mean it . At first when I heard the term I thought it was a promise . I thought it was like a title ...... or a marketing ploy . "skinny jeans" I mean it sounds so fucking hopeful. How disappointed was I to find out that what the label really meant was "jeans for skinny people." I spend each day teaching young adults to express themselves in a moderately articulate - quasi grammatically acceptable manner . Clearly whoever came up with the term "skinny jeans " was never one of my students. Skinny jeans are not a promise... they are a designation. It seems that we take one step forward and 24 and a half steps backwards. Could they ( by the way I love "they" ...... whoever you are "they" you have been my friend, my enemy and everything in between for over 30 years ) not have called them "super fucking hard to get on and off jeans" or " only for skinny people jeans " or even better " if you are of average build or god forbid.... fat do not even think about buying these jeans" OK.... I need to take a breath here. I do not want to sound bitter. I am OK with the jeans. I am OK with the look - actually I LOVE the look .( even though I cannot pull it off) I just hugely take offence and objection to the name. Imagine for one moment the opposite - "fat jeans" What would they look like ? Would they have a huge ass and and huge fucking openings for your hobbitesque feet to fit into ? ( by the way .... I have heard that getting out of skinny jeans is not particularly sexy ) I guess my case in point is that when and if ( Big fucking IF ) I walk in to one of my local jean vendors , they at no point in our conversation refer me to the aforementioned "skinny jeans." I simply do not qualify for that kind of real estate. So is this the rant of a fat girl ? No . I just think that young women have enough to knock them down ..... do they really need a term like Skinny Jeans to add to the mix ?
3 comments:
Oh Heather you should write a book. Your thoughts are so true but so dam funny. Have you seen the boys with the jeans doiwn around there knees so you see their underwear. God heklp us if they don't have cleanies on or no bum covers at all. It's a big fad in Florida.
You are a true classic my friend. I love that you have not changed - I can actually hear you saying these words as I read them! I can't wait to catch up with you.
I couldn't agree more and I only wish that I had thought to say it half as cleverly. Long live lit girl (and her ass).
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