Ok... so my tribe was not techno-savy

I have been asked about the title and subtitle of my blog. This blog is my journey as I make my way through the world. I would like to blame my idiosyncrasies on something.... anything. As I get older, I have embraced my "not normalness." The subtitle came from a conversation I had with a good friend . I told her that the reason I am often confounded by the behaviour of other humans is that I am from a far and distant tribe. When I was in my tribe I was normal. One day I looked away for a moment. Maybe I got distrated by something shiny in the tall grass. While I was distracted.... my tribe left. They picked up and left. I am not sure why . Maybe the food supply was dwindling and they needed to move to a new location. I am confident that my tribe was nomadic as I often need medication when forced to remain in one place for too long. Anyway ... when they left they did not leave a note or a map. I am still waiting for the smoke signal that lets me know where they are. Until then I will remain "not normal"
So ..... the blog . The blog tells the sometimes messy tale of my journey. If I let you in on all the wacky stuff that happens to me and goes through my mind it would be too much for the average human . Therefore, I weigh each story and decide if I should share. For sure sometimes I make the wrong decision ! For sure !

Here is the story of me and my blackberry ( AKA - beloved ) !

My tribe was clearly not tech savy. So I come by it honestly. This combined with my innate penchant for ridiculous mishaps is not good . My Blackberry lives in fear of me and it should. Here are a few reasons why :

In November I was driving in my car with a mug of coffee . I do not often use the handy travel mugs with the lids. Most often, I wedge a big lidless mug between the seats of my Nissan Versa. It wedges in so snug and nice that it is like they tested this when they were designing the car. ( it makes me happy to think this by the way - because I picture the whole thing happening ... there is this woman working on the design or maybe installing the seats and she has a mug and nowhere to put it and thinks to herself " hey if I shave off about an eighth of an inch from each seat my mug would slide in between them nicely !") I digress ! So there I am driving along the winding country roads that lead me to work and I suddenly find myself needing my lipstick. I reach over to my huge bag and begin rummaging around. My willy nilly rumaging caused my hand to come in contact with my unsuspecting blackberry... sending it up into the air . Now here is where it gets crazy .... the blackberry could have landed anywhere but of course it plunged head first into the coffee mug ! I was in panic mode as I pulled over and attempted a speedy rescue. I successfully got it out of the hot coffee (not an easy task) and immediately took off the back and removed the battery and sim card. Leaving them on the seat to dry , I spent the rest of the trip worried about my beloved.
When I got to school the IT guy for our entire board of education happened to be at my school . What luck ! A technical genius right there in front of me ! Fate had intervened and my beloved was going to survive ! This is a person who is in charge of every computer sysem in every school in our large board of education. He knows technology . I asked him what I should do . Without hesitating ( I am going to repeat that ... without hesitating ) he instructed me to put it in the microwave for about 5 minutes. I want to go on record at this point and tell you that this sounded counter intuitive and a bit dangerous to me . I know that metal and microwaves do not mix. He was so confident . His exact words were "It works like a charm ." I asked him if I should remove the battery first. I vaguely remembered something about not putting batteries near a heat source. He told me to just leave it in. Thankfully, I did remove the battery! Off I went down the hall to the nearest microwave with my friend and colleague. We placed it in the microwave....set it for about 15 seconds..closed the door and pressed start . It is somewhat of a blur at this point as I look back. I remember there were sparks ...lots and lots of sparks and maybe even some flames. We had both jumped back at the first cracking and popping noises. I think at that point I grabbed the door handle and pulled it open. That is when the smoke and the horrid smell hit us . I had killed it . It lay there .... my beloved . A charred shadow of his former self. Smoking, melted and very very sad. Works like a charm my ass !
Quickly I got on the phone to my provider. I skipped the microwave part and stuck to the "dropped it in my coffee" part of the day. They refused to send me a new phone.But on the 15th or 16th call, they relented. I thought it would take way more calls than that. My plan was to keep calling until I hit the right customer service rep. They urged me to get a blackberry flip as the track ball is somewhat protected and I had already replaced my blackberry 1 month earlier for trackball issues. In two days I got my shiny new phone! Yah !
I have had the phone about 2 months. On the weekend, I was charging it where I always do ... on the mantel of the fireplace near the big candles. I went to unplug my beloved from the charger and inadvertently knocked over one of the big candles... which would not have been a problem had it not been lit. Wax poured all over my beloved - simultaneaously scalding him and sealing him in a coat of hazelnut vanilla wax. I was able to scrape most of it off and for this I was glad. I took a look at him and he seemed fine...until I spied the spot where the charger plugs in ... it used to be a hole. The hole was now completely plugged with a vanilla hazelnut wax cork ! What to do, what to do ? I grabbed my tweezerman tweezers and a big safety pin. I began the very intricate task of extracting the wax from the tiny tiny opening that used to be ..well ... an opening. It was like brain surgery. At one point I jammed the safety pin in and felt a little vibration go through my hand . I opened the back and realized I had hit the battery . Eventually I got enough of the wax out so that my charger goes in part way....but just enough to work ! Success ! My beloved lives to text another day !

If this story sounds in any way familiar or if you can identify with any of the actions taken ....please let me know as you may be a member of my tribe ! Did they leave you behind too ?